Unusual Morning

First of all I would like to give you a little background to show this unusual experience is not something that came from mental illness, lack of sleep, sleepwalking or drugs. Thanks to lucky DNA in one area of my life I have no mental illness of any kind, I have never slept walk and drugs or alcohol are in my distant past.
I had unusual and groundbreaking experiences in deep meditation but it had nothing to do with life, mind or body. This experience that I will detail here is by far the most unusual experience I had in every day life which contradicts my normal solid state of living.

This unusual morning I woke up early from a normal dream. I awoke in a thoughtless state which is my usual practice Just in case I want to fall back asleep. Sitting on the side of the bed, all of a sudden these thoughts come streaming in: I shouldn’t be alive, I should be dead, I shouldn’t be sitting up! There was a feeling of confusion and unhappiness in the words. It was so unusual I decided to go with it by remaining thoughtless in the background. As I get up more words come: “I shouldn’t be walking, I should be dead!” I’m now walking through bathroom and into the walk-in closet I get a sense that I loosing the connection and/or the voice is starting to understand what’s going on as I sit down in the closet and wait in silence for more. The cat walks in I voluntarily decide to pet the cat to see if I can get a reaction. The cat feels extra warm and fluffy to the touch when the word “Wooonnderfull” comes in. No more feeling of confusion or unhappiness. I sit and wait for minutes but nothing else comes up. My morning ritual ensues and thoughts come roaring in. Why and where are these words coming from when I didn’t die in my dream, and why was I not happy about being alive? Why was I insisting I should be dead? Why is there confusion in the words. Drinking my coffee my sister calls to inform me my sister died two hours ago. I told her that explains the unusual thing that happened to me and I text her the experience. It was My sister! I was her medium. She had the use of my brain and senses since hers were gone. She was an amazing women. She dedicated her life to helping others and the harder she worked the more people she could help. My wife once said “she is hardest working unemployed person I know.” 100 mph she went, traveling around the world until her passing, her ambition never waned. Around a 1000 people showed up to her life celebration party and I was honored too give her a last parting gift with the cat. I remember thinking about my teacher after the phone call when these words popped in – Sawmiji was right after all but will she remain with me as an attached Soul. His belief was that like Souls, people of similar magnetism, or people in your family will attach to you as they go through their end of life process. I believed they are free floating and earth bound going through their afterlife before Eternity, but now I’m thinking more like him, is it attached or both, I think both are probably correct since attachment to places is possible so it depends on the circumstance.


I went to his meditation retreats in the eighties and sponsored retreats in Sedona in early nighties. It was an instrumental pleasure to have him stay at my house it gave me a lot of time alone with him. He said, when people die they stay earth bound and usually piggyback on siblings (and tragically sometimes places) because of the same magnetism in a magnetic attraction, a common frequency as the go through their stuff. I guess I was a too good of a host and we had an unusual mind meld before her memory stick kicked into shuffle. In hindsight, deep down I knew it was her. She was battling brain cancer. I’m so happy I was able to gift myself to her and petting the cat was really a great send off.

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